Two Down -- FOUR To Go!

**EDIT due to chemo brain: This title of this post should have been Two Down - FOUR to Go. One to go was just wishful thinking..**

I went in for my second round of Taxotere and Cytoxan today. (By the way, I was wrong in my earlier post. I am not getting Taxol. I am getting the generic form of Taxotere which is docetaxol.)

Aside from the infusion center being a little backed up with patients, the day went really well. We arrived at 8:40 which was a bit late for my 8:30 appointment. Mistake. The waiting room was already full and the nurses were scrambling. Lesson learned - arrive by 8:15 for an 8:30 appointment.

I got in around 9:30 and saw the physician's assistant. I gave her a recap of my three weeks and she was extremely pleased. I also found out that they will not be adjusting my dosage of either drug. I know when my mom went through chemo, they used to give her a strong dose one week and a weaker dose the following week. Totally different cancer. Totally different drugs. Obviously not the same, but I did ask... just in case they were going to ramp me up this time. I wanted to be ready.

The PA told me that since I tolerated it so well in Round 1, there is no reason to believe anything will change for the next rounds. She did reiterate that my fatigue will definitely increase. Everyone I know who has been through this has said the same thing. I am fine with fatigue. I have a very flexible job. I can work from home if I need to or take off early if I'm too tired. Except for taking my day off for chemo, I really haven't missed a beat.

This is going to sound very vain but my biggest concern right now is my weight. I have put on about 15 pounds since my diagnosis. Before my diagnosis I was really trying to shed "those last 10 pounds". Now my goal is 25 pounds which is a lot for me.

I am at my all time heaviest weight right now and I dread the thought of setting a new record. Not to mention the fact that I will be going into instant menopause once the doctor puts me on hormonal therapy plus I will have a hysterectomy to look forward to in 2012. So yeah - this weight thing is really bothering me.

I talked to the PA about all this and she told me I really should not be concerned with my weight right now. She told me to just maintain. She said this is not the time to lose or gain any significant weight. And my husband chimed in that he has been telling me the same thing (which he has).

But I already have my eye on next year. I want to get through this and feel GREAT about myself. I want to feel strong and healthy. I want to be Wonder Woman by next summer! Not to mention I have my 30th high school reunion coming up in June.

Everyone is telling me to be gentle and patient with myself. They are telling me I will heal faster and feel better sooner if I don't push myself too hard. It's good advice. Truly it is. But I am not a very patient person. I know this is one of the many lessons I have yet to learn through this experience.

Much to ponder...

On a different note... I have temporarily given up reading "Americans in Paris" by David McCollough. The material is just too heavy for me to get through right now. I really need some laughs, so I turned to my friend Jane Heller and downloaded a book I have been wanting to read for quite awhile.

I can't wait to dive in! With the season my Red Sox are having, I think I will be able to relate to Jane's story about her love affair with the New York Yankees.