Happy Sunday! I am back from my wonderful week visiting family in New Hampshire and Vermont and am ready for my fourth round of chemo this coming Wednesday.
During my vacation, I realized that my attitude is starting to change. Now that I am halfway through chemo, I am less scared and that is a very good feeling. Those first couple of months when I was diagnosed and didn't know what to expect -- that was the WORST time. Going through all the biopsies and surgery, waiting for results, starting chemo, worrying about being sick and losing my hair... those experiences are all in the rearview mirror and now I feel more in control and hopeful.
I feel less like a cancer patient and more like myself, if that makes sense. I still have three more rounds of chemo to go plus radiation, but I am not afraid. I feel like these past four months have made me a stronger person. I feel more able to overcome adversity and cope with challenges.
Ten years ago, I was in really good shape -- very physically fit and strong. I worked out almost every day and took yoga classes at least twice a week. Then, after my mom died in 2007, I lost my motivation. You would have thought her death from cancer would have been a great motivator for me to keep working out and taking care of myself. Instead, it was like a light just turned off and I couldn't seem to pull myself out of the rut.
There is a big difference between just wanting to do something and intending to do something. When you want to do something, you are basically just wishing for something to happen. But when you intend to do something, you are committed to making it happen. You take action.
So today on my blog I am declaring my intention to build a healthier lifestyle both physically and spiritually. It is time to stop worrying about cancer and being afraid. It is time to start rebuilding my health and loving my life again.
I am READY!